Funny Spin on Macbeth Funny Macbeth

Unformatted text preview: Macbeth Adaptation Script Description: This adaptation of Macbeth is intended to be an animated comedic parody of its events. First Scene Narrator. [In a thick Scottish accent] Welcome to the bountiful forests of Shakespeareesque Scotland. This is a magical place where all sorts of things happen. Look, there are some witches! Witch #1. Hey gals? How about we give that Macbeth guy some prophecies so that we can put this land in a dystopian discourse? Witch #2. Here, here! I agree! Witch #3. Hecate will be sooo proud of us! Macbeth. [Looking weathered from battle] Phew! That was tight! [Sees the witches] Well hello, my fair maidens. Got any prophecies for me? Banquo. [Runs over to the scene] Wait for me! I want in on some of this action! Witch #1. Funny you should mention that. You see, Macbeth will basically become king and Banquo's descendants too. Macbeth. [Fist pumping the air] Yes! Finally! Woohoo! [In a sing song voice] I'm going to be king, I'm going to be king, I'm going to be k-! Wait… Banquo's descendants…? Banquo. Wow! What a glorious turn of events, aye Macbeth? We'll both be royal chums! Macbeth. [To himself] Phooey. Second Scene Cut to Macbeth's castle. Lady Macbeth is sitting on her bed. Lady Macbeth. My husband absolutely must become king! He's such a chicken, though. He may not have what it takes to seize power. [Points to herself] That's why I am here! With me to persuade him, my darling Mac will be sure to lose his doubtful ways. Enter Macbeth Macbeth. My beautiful wife, today we host the Duncan! Lady Macbeth. I've already been filled in on recent events. Mac, you know what you must do. Macbeth. Oh no, not that. Lady Macbeth. Yes Mac-mac, that. Besides, if we fail, we fail. Don't you want to fulfil the prophecy? Macbeth. Well… erm… yes…? Lady Macbeth. Well, it's settled then! I knew your ambition would overpower your doubt. I'll get the drugs and you can get the dagger. Duncan can kiss the Earth goodbye! Third Scene Day cycles to night, and the hooting of owls and the chirping of crickets can be heard. Macduff drowsily enters the central hall of the castle. Macduff. Wowie zowie, what a rough night. [Lennox and Macbeth enter the hall] God morning fellas! Macbeth, is the king up yet? Macbeth. Nope, not that I know of. Macduff. Well, he told me to wake him up early so I'll just go and get him now. [Leaves the room] Lennox. Rough night yesterday, huh? Macbeth. Indeed, my good man, indeed. Macduff burst into the room Macduff. The king! The king! The KING!!! Lennox and Macbeth. What's going on?! Macduff. The king is… the king is… go see for yourselves! Lennox and Macbeth run for the door, almost trampling each other in the process. Macduff. Oh, the horror! Malcolm, Donalbain, Banquo! EVERYBODY!!! Malcolm, Donalbain, Banquo, and Lady Macbeth run into the central hall. Lady Macbeth. Dear heavens, whatever is going? Macduff. Madam, knowing it would kill you! Lady Macbeth. [Raising an eyebrow] You don't say? Banquo. Speak, Macduff! Speak! Lennox and Macbeth rush into the hall Macbeth. The dear King Duncan is DEAD! Everyone wails collectively. Lady Macbeth. My slender body cannot encompass this pain, oh the horror! Banquo. Take care of the lady! Malcolm. [Quietly to Donalbain] Er… Donalbain? Donalbain. [Quietly to Malcolm] Yes, brother? Malcolm. I think this is our cue to leave. Donalbain. I second that, let's escape before these rednecks get any ideas. Malcolm and Donalbain quietly tiptoe out the main door while everyone else is talking. Macduff. Seriously, Macbeth? Did you have to kill the guards? Macbeth. I was just so… so angry. Banquo. We must focus on the aftermath of this tragedy. Macbeth, I believe that you are now king. Macbeth. With a heavy heart I accept the position. Macduff. I am heading back to my kingdom in Fife. Farewell, everyone. Macbeth. Farewell. Everyone else, I formally invite you to my coronation. You may all disperse. Everyone exits except Macbeth. Two murderers enter. Macbeth. [Grinning cockily] Hello gentlemen, about our friend Banquo… The murderers grin and bring out their knives. Fourth Scene Viva la Vida by Coldplay plays in the background. Banquo and Fleance are walking on a forest trail in the rain. Fleance. Father, I don't know if this stroll was such a good idea. I mean, after what happened to the king… Banquo. Poppycock! Don't say such things, son. A little exercise is always a great thing. What could possibly go wrong? The two murderers jump out of the bushes and pounce on Banquo. Murderer #1. Booga wooga! Murderer #2. You jinxed yourselves! Banquo. Oh God! Murderers! Fleance, run! Run for your life! Fleance. FATHER!!! Banquo. DAAAH! Fleance runs deeper into the woods. The murderers give chase but lose track of him. Fifth Scene At the Macduff residence, the murderers knock on the door. Lady Macduff. Who is it? The murderers burst through the door and stab Lady Macduff and her son. Sixth Scene In a cavern, the witches are all sitting by a fire. Macbeth enters. Macbeth. Ladies, I need more prophecies! Witch #1. All righty. Let's just say that your kingdom will not end until Birnam Wood marches to fight you at Dunsinane Hill. Witch #2. And don't forget about when you are engaged in battle by a man not born from his mother's womb. Macbeth. Hallelujah in the sanctuary! Those things you said are the works of fiction! My kingdom shall last forever! Seventh Scene Malcolm and Macduff are in the fields near Scotland marching with their army. Malcolm. You know what, Macduff? I don't think I would make a good king. I am very lustful and greedy. I'd probably make Scotland worse than it currently is under Macbeth's reign. Macduff. God have mercy! Scotland is doomed! I just wanted my mother country to survive. Malcolm. It was all a trick, my friend. I just wanted to see how loyal you are, and now I know I can trust you. Macduff. Don't do that again. You really got me. A messenger comes running over to them Messenger. Sirs, I come from Fife with terrible news! Lady Macduff and all of the Macduff children have been slain! Macduff. NOOO!!!! Malcolm. [Gently] My friend, you must channel your anger towards Macbeth. He shall pay dearly for this crime. Macduff. Revenge I shall get. Let's head for Birnam Wood. Eight Scene Macbeth's castle at Dunsinane. Macbeth. My castle is fortified. Nothing can stop me now! Servant. S-s-sir? Macbeth. What? Servant. It may just be my eyes, but it seems like Birnam Wood is towards us. Macbeth. Lies and slander! [Checks ground below] Merciful heaven! It is moving! A doctor enters from the common room. Doctor. Sire, I am grieved to inform you that your wife has been deceased. Macbeth. Oh Lord, I knew it. She had been acting strange lately. Voice. Allow me to introduce myself. Macbeth. [Turns around quickly] Macduff! Macduff. You flap-mouthed tyrant! [Brings out sword] You shall die for slaying my family! Macbeth. [Brings out his own sword] I don't think so, fool! I can only be killed by a man not born from the womb! Macduff. God is on my side! I was born by Caesarean Section! Macbeth. Dang it! The witches tricked me! Macduff. Now shut up and fight, you mangling, hell-hated, giglet! The two men fight until Macduff gets the upper hand and slices Macbeth's head off. Macduff. [Holding Macbeth's head from the balcony of the castle for the soldiers to see] We've won! Scotland is free! All hail king Malcolm! Soldiers. All hail king Malcolm! ...
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